Hold My Beer Watch This! – Debunking the Myths of Travelling.
“The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”
Oscar Wilde
What to expect from our travel blog?
That’s easier to answer by stating what you WON’T find.
For example, you won’t find tips on how to climb Mt Everest on a shoestring budget. First off, climbing Mt Everest sounds like a lot of hard work and self inflicted punishment, both decidedly not in our comfort zones. Secondly, the area around the mountain has recently descended into a shit hole and become a mecca for the sort of tourists we try very hard to avoid – up there with those morons down there who go on cruise ships. If you want money saving tips go and buy a “Lonely Planet Guide.” In our tales you may come across the occasional endorsement for a hotel or restaurant. Don’t be swayed, it’s purely because of the altruistic expedience of being slipped a few dollars for the plug. Strangely enough it doesn’t happen often!
By reading our profiles you’ll understand we have a cumulative 80 years of travel experience, not to mention those 100+ countries (some of them decidedly dodgy) we can share with you. And we will. It will be a journey based on travel memories. There will be tales of daring do, or rather fuck ups! But there’ll also be tales of human interactions, some warm and some, well let’s simply say, not so warm.
Expect tales of wit, war and peace, some shaggy dog stories, some off the wall yarns but most decidedly a fair bit of laughter – well we found it funny! Do not expect stereotypical points of view. We avoid these by remaining solidly cynical throughout. However, even after all these years we are not so sarcastic as to lose site of the incredible experiences the world has given us in exchange for our humble commitment to the environment.
David lives in the UK and Gionny, although Italian, lives in Australia. So, with the absence of a conveniently close bar to sit down and share laughs about travel stories, one day we spoke virtually and decided it was time to share some of our experiences with a broader audience. If we have to suffer each other’s stories why not impose them on others – you.
Here we are, ready to get you hooked on some unfiltered experiences. Rest assured, while we may waste our time writing this shit you will not waste your time reading our weekly contribution to humanity,
However, there are a couple of health warnings about this blog. We’re well known within our circle to be straight shooters, foul-mouthed and definitely not always politically correct. Take it as it comes. If you really get upset go and tell your lawyer. Bring it on. We’ve got no money and it would sure as hell make for another chapter in our saga.
And the Oscar Wilde quote? Oh we just like it and it just could be us.
Dear Scrittori Scatologici
As your lawyer I strongly advise you to ignore any and all legal advice you may be offered on the grounds that you can’t afford it and if you do act upon it you will find it worth exactly what you paid for it.
As your comrade I may occasionally hitch a ride with you and stand you a virtual pint or two.
We in fact start our month-long road trip today of what were formerly known as the British Isles. We will be taking in or be taken in by people and places from deepest Dorset, through wildest Wales.
We are heading from Bridport to Pembroke on our first leg. Speaking of legs, we may get LBW’d by Cricket St Thomas as we head for (how much does a) Crewkerne before proceeding Caerphilly through Wet Wales (surely West Wales? Ed.) no Wet Wales. As we attempt to enunciate the rest of the names of towns on the route we may come down with a case of The Mumbles and head from Cross Hands through Red Roses to the murderous sounding Kilgetty (wasn’t there a film about that kidnapping?) and Penally (appropriately named but weirdly pronounced) and thence to catch the ferry to Rosslare. Onwards to the watering holes of Waterford, screwing in Cork and dangling in Dingle. Haven’t quite figured our route from there to taking a leak in the Lake District and a shite in Shetland but that’s the banjaxed plan we were working on until virulent things started to happen.